Why I wake up every morning
Hello everyone!
I wrote this a little while ago and posted it for a moment, but felt like I should sit with it a bit longer and took it down. I thought that maybe God wanted me to wait because I needed to edit it after some separation, but the opposite was true. I felt like God prompted me to take that space so that with a refreshed mind I could rejoice in all that He has done and continues to do.
I know I’ve been sharing about Jesus for a long time, probably more than ever recently. And I very deeply want to make sure that the person I present to you is the person I am in my daily life because our words either carry significance or they mean nothing at all. If I am going to claim Christ, I want to live from that posture. He deserves the weight of my words. No one will ever arrive at the totality of wisdom or perfection, so those are not my goals. But I promise that in all things, I will do my best to approach life with humility and a hunger for His truth. With that, I leave you with one of my more personal reflections.
I pray that it is encouraging and that perhaps it inspires you to think through what makes you excited to wake up every morning. The springboard for this whole prompt was truly - what do I believe and how has it shaped me? That question can be hard and we don’t have to have it all sorted out, but I think it is important for every one of us to sit with. I love you all and hope you are having a wonderful week!
Now, without further ado-
Things in my life that have been affected by my relationship with Christ:
Identity
My identity isn’t in my past hurts, traumas, or insecurities. And when something hits a sore spot, God gently uses it to break off the chains I still cling to.
My identity isn’t dictated by my gender or finances or the family I come from, but it is still purposeful that I exist in this current time and space in this body. I choose to see my socioeconomic status, gender, ethnicity, family, culture, health, and time period of existing as intentional. I see it as specific to my purpose with its own unique set of challenges, blessings, and blind spots. God is painting a beautiful picture with all of those factors, just like He does with every single one of us. He is growing me in unique ways. I live a much fuller, focused, compassionate, purposeful, more resilient life when I choose to believe what the Bible says about me; that I am wonderfully and purposefully created.
My identity is not in my appearance. I strive to eat good foods and move my body for the sake of health and longevity. Even in my sickest moments, God showed me I was valuable. And He showed me the gift that it is to be able-bodied; to pour into the body of Christ with our hands and feet and stamina. It inspires me to pursue health from a place of identity in Him rather than in superficial, temporary things like youth or vanity. It gives me a motivation that knows no end. And grace for when I fall short.
My identity isn’t rooted in what others think of me. My goal is to be a light when people take the time to interact with me. My goal is to be open-hearted towards everyone that I meet. My goal is to love others well. My goal is to respect others in the way I hope to be respected. I know that not everyone is created to like me, but no one is created to hate me or speak against me. And the same goes for me towards others. If I find that I am filled with hateful feelings for someone, I check myself because I know the Father’s heart wouldn’t align with that. I go deeper and find the true emotion and hand it over to God. So far, He has never let me down. He fights battles that I never see on my behalf and releases me from the anxiety of being misunderstood or misperceived.
How I perceive hardships and sorrows.
With every significant death I’ve faced, God has given me supernatural visions, dreams, songs, and signs pointing towards the kingdom of Heaven. I’ve never felt closer to His warmth and presence than I have in my darkest moments.
When living doesn’t feel worth it, I have a fire to renew me that never runs out. I’m not just choosing life to appease my family or friends who may be temporary, but to glorify an eternal God. If I am still living and breathing, I am not yet done with my time here. And that means more laughter, more spontaneity, more people to love, more of the world to soak in.
Trials are expected, but they never get the final say. When I’m in the thick of it, God zooms out for me and gives me glimpses of hope. And in those moments where I don’t get a glimpse, I have a huge bank of past experiences where I’ve trusted God to pull from. He has never failed me, forsaken me, or pushed me through a season that was meaningless. I’ve never walked through something that I didn’t grow from and I never will.
How I wait. Waiting is one of the most prominent parts of any story from the Bible, but it’s hard to focus on that when we get to read the cliff notes version. Growing older, I’ve learned that prayers can take years or lifetimes to come to fruition. Some things happen instantaneously, others don’t. Knowing God has a plan even when things make negative amounts of sense has changed everything for me. It gives me a stamina to keep seeking, keep preparing, keep believing even when I can’t see around the corner.
How I experience joy and presentness.
By nature, I’m a dweller. But in Christ, I’m present in every moment. I examine the leaves on trees when I walk through the park, I can smell the different scents of each season in the air. I smile when I see dogs playing catch or parents making faces to entertain their babies. I touch things that look soft at Target because I want to, I hum songs that are stuck in my head, I’m open minded to going where I didn’t originally think I’d want to go and creating new plans. Routine events and gatherings have a unique beauty every time I experience them. There is always a new face to see, a laugh to exchange, things to learn. I often find myself marveling at how beautiful the world is and how refreshing it is to be alive. It gives me joy even when happiness is fleeting. It keeps me in check when I overwhelm myself and forget to be present. I know that the Father’s heart is the only place I can truly refuel.
How I view my purpose
I am purposeful not because of anything I do or don’t do, but because I’m a child of God. My purpose is to have relationship with Him because He does the rest from there. When I draw close to the Father, I become more humble and generous and disciplined. I become more passionate about the giftings I’ve been given. And I never run empty because I don’t run on my own strength. When I start to, I feel the fatigue instantly. I’ve tried making it all on my own before and every single time, I found that I lacked vision and conviction. I made things I wasn’t proud of. I acted in ways that wounded me. Over time, it’s become much more reflexive to spot the signs of me strong-holding my destiny and to then put my life back into God’s hands.
I live knowing that I’m designed for rest, for rejuvenation, for alone time, for a deep and fulfilling community. I live knowing that I will suffer greatly outside of having meaningful connections and people to lean on. The more I draw near to Christ in my purpose, the more I choose people every single time over everything else in this life. And the more I realize how deeply impactful and life changing it is to have love all around me in all different shapes and forms.
Sending blessings and love to you all, until next time!
Lexi C