20 Things I'd Like To Say
2/17/20
Hey guys, it has been an interesting few weeks for me. I must tell you, I haven’t had such bad writers block in a while. It is like I have so many things I’d like to say but can’t really find the right one to explore. I am also in a space where instead of being inspired to create, I have been inspired to revisit old works with a more informed eye. I have been reading through my old journals, poems, thoughts, songs, and so on and archiving them so that I will not lose them.
My biggest frustration with that sort of process is just how overwhelming it is to my mental state. However, God is constantly redirecting me back to this task no matter my fits and tantrums about it. Even last night I sat down to my piano for what felt like hours and I could come up with nothing. Instead, I was led back into my catalog and rediscovered several songs I’d nearly forgotten about that I need to keep fighting for. Still, I was surprised at how my mood instantly sank at my frustration of not being able to create new content. I was starting to get emotional and my thoughts were running down a lot of unhealthy paths. My sister and her friends were sitting downstairs but I had convinced myself that my presence would bother them and so I decided to hop in bed and curl up for the rest of the evening. God didn’t want that for me because right as I started to pull my covers back , one of them came and knocked on my door and invited me to watch a movie with them.
It may sound silly, but God works in ways like that even if it seems simple. When my mind goes dark, He doesn’t leave me alone to face it. And so today I am sitting here debating what I can possibly say to you all, finding that I have a few random things rather than a cohesive message.
So here are a few random statements that I have had on my mind these last few weeks:
If you love someone, tell them. Tell them every day.
Pride is never worth the cost.
However, it pays to be kind. And even if it didn’t, you should be kind anyway.
Take people and their pain seriously.
You can’t make everyone happy.
If a boy/girl treated you poorly in the past, they will keep doing it. You don’t have to keep the peace, you can let the bridge keep burning. It isn’t up to you to put the fire out.
God is good. He is so, so good.
The human experience is agonizing without love, so show people lots of it.
If someone wants to be in your life, they will be there.
Some people can’t handle being close to you because of their own insecurities, and no matter what you do, you can’t fix that. Just let the relationship go because they are unable to be loyal to you in that state and will always end up hurting you.
There is injustice in this world. Playing ignorant only perpetuates the problem and causes the loss of more lives.
Put your phones up on long car rides, at the dinner table, during a movie. Be present.
Bringing attention to an issue doesn’t equate to someone playing victim or provoking a battle of woes; just listen to them. If you can’t do that, you should ask yourself why you are so quick to jump into defense mode.
In or out of a relationship, seeking sexual content from sources other than your SO is never okay. Ever. Ever. Ever. It is not beneficial to you or anyone you love. It is not normal, nor acceptable, nor an excuse. It is not light and simple, it is heavy and twisted. It is a gateway to a life of heartache. It has consequences.
We all need accountability, so find people to hold you accountable.
Be vulnerable; it feels like dropping a bag of boulders from your back. It sets you free.
People are MUCH different in real life than they are on instagram. It is easier than ever before to learn the art of manipulation and hide behind an aesthetic; don’t trust a profile.
Everything has a purpose in your story. Even if God doesn’t send the heartaches, He uses them for good.
Put your shopping carts up when you go to the grocery store.
Your time is valuable, your energy is valuable. Be picky about what and who you allow to tap into those reserves.
There are a million other little things I could say, but that is it for now. I am in the process of planning a book that I hope to begin writing before the end of this year so please wish me luck! If you have any tips or advice, shoot it my way. Please, lol.
I love you guys a lot and I am sorry I have been a bit scattered lately, I hope that you have all been well! I am always here for discussion, questions, debates, or just to support you wherever you are in life. I appreciate you guys. :)
See you next Sunday,
-Lexi Cummings
