Wrestling With God
Wrestling With God
Hey guys,
If I am being very honest, there is not much left of me after this week to write my blog. For a lot of reasons I can’t really dig into, I am very tired. But I think a commitment is truly tested in times like this and so I’ve decided to say something even if it is not much. I promised a new post every Sunday and so that is what I will do!
This week, I want to talk about wrestling with God.
This sounds confusing, but it is something I’ve been doing a lot of lately. I’ve been asking questions, being silent and waiting, being frustrated, throwing my hands up and repeating the phrase over and over again, “I don’t know what to do…” about a lot of different situations.
I’ve yelled internally, shed some tears (which is rare for me), admitted the areas where my faith has been short, wrestled with what God wants for me and what I want for myself. And not only was I finally getting these two things aligned, but now living into the final product has turned out to be the hard part.
I feel like more often than not, God gives us our answer. He tells us through our hearts, motivations, intentions, actions. He tells us through prayer. Yet, we all feel like the struggle is in finding the answer- when really, it is being bold enough to accept it and start living it out. Pushing through when you are alone, when you seem crazy, when life is uncomfortable, and when your alternative is seemingly much easier than the route God put on your heart.
Following God makes no sense half of the time. Walking by faith feels like walking blindly with fire surrounding you on all sides. But when you get through the thick of it, you see. And you see more than you could have ever imagined for yourself.
So the thing about wrestling with God… it isn’t wrestling for the answer, it is wrestling with the answer. At least it is for me most of the time. It is wrestling through each step towards whatever God has called you to. It’s struggling to understand why, to keep moving, to step out and be bold when it feels like it is doing more harm than good.
So this week, I have been fighting for myself and the people I love. Fighting for them in ways that they may not understand today or may never understand. I’ve been fighting to stand by my values, to have integrity, to refill my soul, to live out my morals, to love without condition, to believe in people when believing is really scary. Because aligning your will with God, while that is a task as well, is usually the least of it; searching for the address, plugging it into your GPS, and pressing go is the first step. But the journey onward is where you really wrestle with God in the unknown.
So my encouragement for everyone this week is to align their direction with God’s will. And secondly, my greatest hope is that you are bold enough to step into the calling, no matter how scary and uncertain it appears to be.
Please feel free to check out my other socials while you’re here, I appreciate all of you so much. <3
https://linktr.ee/lexigailmusic
HAPPY SPOOKY SEASON!!! :)
-Lexi Cummings 10/26/19
