I am back! Blog 2.0
10/17/2022
Hey there:)
Welp. It has been almost two years since I was blogging on a consistent basis. I am sure many of you have forgotten those days by this point but I remember them fondly and wish I hadn’t needed to stop.
When I had my gallbladder removed in January of 2021, it was the tip of the iceberg on top of several other big changes that were already happening in my life or about to happen. I have been through storms the same as anyone else and knew lots of logical answers to things, but I realized that I couldn’t share what I hadn’t had the time to navigate myself… There were just too many uncharted waters I was learning to swim in. And I hadn’t been in touch with my heart for a while even before that. Just my mind.
After a few events as of recent and prayers over the last year for God to wake me up, all of the small pieces and twists of the dial finally clicked together. So here I am deciding to do the thing that I love most in the world- share my heart with you.
Today won’t be the day that I delve into the things I have gone through to get back to this place. But it will be a day of encouragement because I know that if I need it, someone else probably does too. So here goes. :)
God knows the people who are around you. He knows who has your best interest at heart and who doesn’t. He knows who values you and who is truly invested in you. Trust that as your circle continues to change, that he hears the conversations you can’t hear and is working overtime to bring you to places of safety and love.
If you are a multi passionate individual like myself, especially if you are in your 20’s, be kind to yourself. Don’t let others make you feel small or inadequate or unsuccessful. You are allowed to explore as many options as you want to and have as many hobbies as you’d like. Never let anyone make you feel like you need to dull yourself and your creative spirit. Truth is, you will find a place that fulfills you. Maybe even several over the course of your lifetime. Go build empires. The right people will support you and guide you with love.
Don’t be afraid to walk away. Don’t be afraid to stay either. Don’t be someone who blocks your own blessings by leaving when you’re not supposed to or staying when you’re not supposed to. And do all things with not just personal prayer, but communal prayer. Lean on people you trust to fill in your blind spots.
Not everyone is going to like you. That one is a tough pill for me to swallow and a part of the reason I stopped sharing my life publicly. But the thing is, everyone is constantly evolving. I read the blogs I wrote previously and see in so many way how I’ve already changed and grown within just a few years. If someone unfollows you because they don’t agree with you and doesn’t want to engage you in conversation, those aren’t the people you need to worry about. As much as that can hurt sometimes. If we don’t share out loud, there is no room for reproof or change. It’s important to be vulnerable with others so they can call out the places in us that we can’t see. My goal here was and always will be to grow with you. That is the culture I promote. And anyone who doesn’t want to be here doesn't have to be.
Be someone who loves others so much that you discover you have to love yourself too. Clouds of depression and sadness can make you heavy to the people who love you the most. I have found that no matter how well I love the people I love, that when I don’t also love myself, nothing I did for them really matters. I pull them down with the weight I carry around on my shoulders. I thought if I kept treating everyone the same even when I knew I was giving up on myself, that they wouldn’t see it and it would be okay. But when you’re loved, your pain hurts them too. And it is impossible to hide. If you can’t start healing at first for your own sake, heal for them. So that you can love them better. So that one day, you can love yourself simply because you are.
That’s all for today. Thank you for being here with me, it genuinely means the world.
-Lexi
