A Refill On Faith

3/27/20

Hello my dear friends! I would like to begin today with something I haven’t done before: a passage from the Bible. I preface this by saying that whether you share the same faith as me or not, this passage is one that we can all take something away from. At least I would hope! So here goes :)

Love for Enemies

27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Judging Others

37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you…”

Wooh! So I began with this first because I’d like to share a story with you from this week…

As I mentioned last Sunday, I have found isolation to be very telling of the things that are heavy on my soul, the pains I have been running from rather than facing. A dear friend of mind, Amanda, has been spending time with us since quarantine began a few weeks ago. I woke up yesterday a bit earlier than she did and so I went downstairs to try and get some more writing done for the book I started recently.

In order to get into the right headspace for my subject matter, I have to go through and read lots of my old journals from times that have passed. Usually, this doesn’t bother me too much. But in this particular sitting, I came across something that broke my heart very unexpectedly. I realized in this moment that something I used to find beautiful had become a symbol of pain for me. I realized that I had allowed someone to take a kind gesture and add a negative stigma to it. And I just grew very frustrated for a moment and a bit emotional. It was something I had buried inside and didn’t remember until I was reading through my past again.

Amanda came downstairs and I told her I was going to take a breather by sitting outside on my porch if she’d like to join me. I began expressing to her some of my frustrations. My biggest was at how I always met hate with grace. I was in a dark spot and feeling as though my sincerest attempts to love someone through every stab they took at me actually got me no where. I felt like it made no sense for me to keep putting my best, most loving foot forward when I then had to sit in the shadows to handle all of the anger I kept inside. I was angry that I never lash out. I was questioning my general methods of handling people who hurt me. I was convinced that they learned nothing because I didn’t yell or accuse or set them straight. And I grew very dissapointed.

This is maybe the first time I expressed those doubts of mine out loud. And I could barely say them without choking back my emotions either. I had also been making an effort to pray to God the last few days and felt like I was getting nothing in return.

Now here is the fun part: A little earlier before I got into reading my journals that day, a post from @hertrueworth came across my newsfeed. It was a bible verse that I briefly read and had a small nudge to add to my private instagram story. To be honest, I just kind of did it without thinking. And shortly after talking with Amanda, she and I went inside to search for something to watch on Netflix. I had another small nudge to search in the spiritual category and I randomly selected “The Gospel of Luke”. I had never thought to purposefully seek out Christ-centered content in all the years I’ve used Netflix before.

As we watched, it got to the portion with the above verses I shared with you. Something in me began to light up and my eyes started to get a little watery as the narrator spoke them aloud. It was like a direct answer to my frustrations and I felt God stirring in the space around me. I instantly looked the passage up on my phone and shared it to my public Instagram story for all of my friends to see. It was then that I realized the other Bible verse I’d shared earlier was from the same exact section of verses. I literally shared the same message twice and didn’t even realize I’d done it.

I know all of that may sound a little silly, but to me, I knew it was God speaking. It is not every day that He puts such a specific reading in front of my face multiple times in a row, but that is exactly what He did. And as I went about the rest of my day, I felt this unexplainable joy and peace. God felt so close that I literally wanted to leap into His arms, talk His ear off, hang out with the prophets in Heaven and gain all of their wisdom. I felt His Kingdom draw so near.

When my article went viral on Thought Catalog a few weeks ago, “Kindness is the Bravest Choice You’ll Ever Make,” I was putting the love of God into practice. But then, life wore me down slowly and turned me against my own words. If it were not for God and His love towards me, coming directly from His words, I would still be adrift in a sea of uncertainty and questioning. He gave me a much needed reminder that my job is to act in love, not to fix hearts. Because if I don’t sew God-like love into the world, I am just throwing another obstacle in God’s path of pursuing the lost. And even if I never see the day of change for the hurting heart that hurt mine, I can have faith that my kindness helped to plant a seed for God to use for their healing. It isn’t up to me to bring people to repentance or be their conscience, only God can do that. My part is to love them well in my actions, forgive, and hand it over daily.

Another thing that He revealed to me yesterday was the reality of Jesus’s own quarantine- 40 days and nights in a desert. Completely alone but for Satan’s temptations. And also, with no food.

Can you IMAGINE??

I was never closer to understanding how this trial in the life of Jesus felt then I am now, as I am sure many of us are in our isolation. Even though He had it much worse than most of us, haha. And the craziest part? We are in the season of Lent RIGHT NOW! Lent is the church as a whole participating in the 40 day fasting that our Lord faced. We are literally in the middle of quarantine theoretically at the same time that Jesus was. Coincidence? Maybe. But maybe not.

Jesus was fully human and had to face His own fears, reservations, annoyances, and temptations. Jesus went through isolation before truly beginning His ministry. Here, He was tested in the fire and cemented His mentality towards the mission set before Him.

Let us as a people do the same- Let God test us. Let God drag us out of our dark places, doubts, and disbelief. And let us come out of this ready to fulfill our purposes in His name.

Love you guys :) See you next Sunday!

-Lexi Cummings

Photo Credits: Ines Lopez