Remember: Someone Looks Up To You
Remember: Someone Looks Up To You
1/8/19
Hello!
This week, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about a lot of things. But I am focusing these next few months on accountability, responsibility, and where I spend my energy. So I’d like to bring up a perspective this week that may help you to achieve these things like it helps me.
Often, it is hard to be strong in our convictions when things happen in life that shake us, when people hurt us, when we realize that we have no control and there is nothing else we can do. It is also hard to play the long game as well. If we are tempted to fall back into a bad relationship, it is hard to avoid it. If we have a craving for something that we’ve given up for our health, it is hard to keep it away. When we are addicted to nearly anything, it can feel okay to avoid it for a while but given a year or two or more, it sits in the back of your mind and it gets harder to stay strong. There is even the temptation to try something new though it may not lead to much benefit- for me, I still don’t really know the taste of alcohol and I’ve never smoked anything before. So sometimes it sits in the back of my head almost, like why should I avoid it? So many other people do it. Why don’t I just try it once?
My point here is that temptations are strong and destructive; and even the most disciplined people in the world wonder what it would be like to throw it all aside, stop being on their lonely island, and just give in sometimes.
Now imagine, say you have an older sibling. If you grew up watching them stumble through the door intoxicated at 3am every week, kicking you out of their room so they could smoke with their friends, sneaking out the window in the evening and never telling you the truth about where they go, having a new girlfriend or boyfriend every few months- you will be effected by those things whether you think it or not. It’s the same way with parents. If you grow up never knowing one of them or only seeing anger, fights, hate, and instability, your expectations for your own life decrease even if you think you are being proactive about not letting that happen.
And so, the thing I have gathered from seeing others and experiencing my own life is this- someone looks up to you whether you realize it or not, whether you want them to or not. And your life will shape theirs.
For me, I grasped this at a young age. I knew that for the sake of my baby sister, I wanted to respect my body, my heart, and my mind as I went through school. I knew that when people broke my heart, hurt me, took advantage of me, that my response would signal to her what was an okay and not okay way to handle conflicts. I knew that if I pushed myself to achieve honors and leadership roles, take AP classes, and work very hard, I would model a good work ethic for her.
Now, I couldn’t have forced Savanna to follow my footsteps. All I could do was give her a roadmap to consider as she walked into the same places I did two years after I’d gone through them. And I knew that whether she knew I influenced her or not, that I did. And I knew that whether I wanted her to look up to me or not, that she did.
I remember this time I ended up in a truth or dare circle during high school when I was 15. I got dared to kiss a boy and so to satisfy, I gave him a very quick one because I’d never really kissed someone before. Of course it didn’t mean much to me or him or anyone there, but then I got home… My sweet baby sister who was still in a private middle school at the time found out. And for her, this was mind blowing. She was sobbing, in tears, screaming at me even because she couldn’t believe what I’d done. For me, it wasn’t like I wanted to do it but it didn’t seem like a big deal. For her, it was like ripping a blanket of stability from underneath her feet because it was out of my general character. And so I was reminded again just how much my life could effect hers. I held myself to a higher standard afterwards, even if that mishap wasn’t the actual end of the world. I avoided a lot of l things that I didn’t really have to, not solely for myself, but because the thought of disappointing her crossed my mind and reminded me that it wasn’t worth it.
People are watching, noticing, and modeling after you. And when the going gets hard, temptation strikes, old habits sneak back up, and you just get so incredibly drained from trying, keep trying. Because there is someone right behind you- sibling, child, cousin, friend- who looks up to you. Sometimes even your parents may look at you to find courage one day. When you succeed and persevere, it gives others motivation to never give up. When they see you treat your significant other poorly, dispose of people easily, give in to things that hurt you, and all else, it makes it easier for them to fall in line right behind you. You set a standard for others by the way you live your own life.
For the sake of others, take care of yourself. Take care of your heart. Handle conflict with grace. Take responsibility for your mistakes. I haven’t been perfect lately, I have found myself tempted to be spiteful in response to hurts. And so I acknowledge that here and now. And I promise to take care of myself and leave those hurts in the past where they belong. I don’t do this for my sake alone, but for all of the people who see my life and how I live it. None of us will be perfect, but everyone can respect those who take ownership of their faults and work towards change.
If you can encourage others simply by how you walk through life, why not keep your standards high? Why not give others a pillar of strength to look to in times of hardship? You owe it to them to do this. And you owe it to yourself to keep pushing, growing, living. Remember: someone look up to you. And you look up to someone. Lets make this cycle beneficial again, lets make each other better and stop circling hurt around in this new year. Lets pass down health instead of heartache.
Till next time,
Lexi Cummings
