Your Life Won't Change If You Don't
Your Life Won't Change If You Don't
1/3/20
So fun fact- I wrote an entire blog on the January 1st and scheduled it to post on Sunday. Everything saved, all was well. And then today I came back to proof read and it was completely gone. Which has never happened to me on here before.
However, as frustrating as that is, I feel like it is a sign that I needed to write about something else besides what I had written initially. What I was going to say came out of a place of sadness for me and I don’t need to dig it up again. Haha. So lets talk constructive!
It is a new year, a new decade. And people use this time often to re-invent themselves, to make better habits, to cut bad ones. But we are all guilty of failing to create a discipline that will sustain our new goals. We are also guilty of shooting too high too fast or pursuing change by unhealthy methods, crippling our ability to change from the start.
So today, I want to talk about some things that may help you better set these goals! Or more so, to help you make yourself into a sustainably grounded and healthy person…
I’ve run into a great deal of people who are out of touch with their inner self. They’ve never asked questions like-
What motivates you?
What do you desire?
What tragedy or cause breaks your heart and why?
What do you believe in?
What have you built your confidence on?
What are the foundations in your life?
What are your priorities in order and what should the order actually be?
Where do you want to spend your free time?
What past hurts effect you still today?
What do you turn to when you are stressed and is it healthy long-term?
These questions are just a small amount of the sum. I can’t answer these for you. But if you take the time to really sit alone or with a counselor and dig through them, you’d be surprised to find where you are off track. You may want to put your spouse before your job, but you think about it and realize you don’t. You may think you do nice things for people to make their lives better, but really you do it for the ego boost and a pat on the back. You may think you are confident enough in who you are to get the girl or guy you want, but when you get into the thick of it, you realize that you didn’t do the leg work to become the person they deserved and you can’t become him/her overnight.
I have seen more loved ones than I care to mention fall prey to a lack of self-discovery due to an indulgence of self-denial. I have seen many more people give up than I have ever seen rise to the occasion.
It is scary to admit where you are wrong, where you could grow. It is much easier to push away the people who hold you accountable and love you than it is to overcome the fear that you’ll never be able to stop disappointing them. It is frustrating to act your way into a feeling when feeling your way into an action isn’t enough. But it shows emotional maturity. I encourage you to do a small act of kindness for the next person who hurts you- like the next time you and your mom get into a fight, text her that you love her even if you don’t feel like it in the moment. You’ll see the power of your actions this way and how it actually makes your love even stronger. The thing is- real love inspires us to do right by people. And if you truly love yourself, you’ll know that you deserve the love you are pushing away. You may even be able to stop yourself before it is too late.
You don’t have to give up.
I have found that most people fail because they are either selfish or they don’t think highly enough of themselves to rise up. This is a new year- but you can’t change anything about your life until you find your team. Without people that encourage the best in you, call out your flaws, are honest with you, and support your growth, you will not change. If you allow people in your circle that never have deep discussions with you and never encourage you to create discipline in your life, you will stay exactly where you are. If you push away the people who would lay their life down for your sake and who love you in your worst moments, you will never become wise. You will never find peace in your heart and mind. Life will come along and yank you left and right and throw you off course, and eventually, you will stop finding your way back because no one will be by your side to guide you there. It will be easier to sit on the sidelines in the company of all the others who gave up too than to journey back alone when the good people have stopped waiting up and left you behind.
The road to betterment can feel lonely- many people will not rise up with you. But the few who you will find are gems you can cling to forever. Your 5 incredible friends are worth 100 average friends.
So, in summary, the people you chose to be in your life will make or break any goals you set for yourself this new year.
Satan’s only power is in isolation- so hear me when I tell you that the journey to self betterment is not one that you can take alone. When he gets you alone, he has you. When you don’t confess your struggles to trusted people in your life, he has a hold on your soul. So please, please don’t hide. Don’t walk away from people that are beneficial because you know that when you do, you’ll fall back into everything that you once were. Sure, it is easier to live that way. It is more comfortable to stay where you are. But you’re much too valuable and worthy for that. You deserve every opportunity and blessing that God has in store for you- but will you be brave enough to claim it? To do the hard work behind the scenes to create discipline and to let go of things and people that don’t serve you? Will you protect your mind and heart and body or will you become slave to its desires? Will you be a servant to the world or to Christ who has your best interest at heart?
Remember- no matter what, we all serve something. We can serve our selfish desires, food, a toxic partner, a toxic friend, substances... Or we can serve God who brings frutiful abundance in our lives and relationships.
My heart aches for the friends and people I’ve lost in the past- the ones that had so much to offer and yet let themselves fall away. I’ve seen so many waste their talents, their ambitions, their love on the wrong people, their health on the wrong substances, their minds on defeating thoughts. I’ve seen so many people settle for a fraction of what their existence could be. This year, don’t allow it. Find people who encourage you, and for the love of all things good, don’t push away the ones you have now.
Heal a piece of the brokenness in this world by healing yourself first, from the inside out.
Till next time,
Lexi Cummings
