The Deeper Invitation Behind Spontaneity
8/6/20
Hi everyone! I am so happy to be back with you each week and hearing from all of you has made my heart so full! Today, I would like to talk about spontaneity. While I love to be spontaneous, it is not natural to my being and can be uncomfortable sometimes. It is something I always admired and even studied in others; a quality I often wanted to embrace myself.
If you are similar to me, you know that a schedule feels much safer. Maybe your brain just doesn’t think up plans off the cuff, maybe change makes you anxious. I am a planner; I like to know things in advance. But over the last few years, I have learned to better embrace uncertainty. I have also learned how to take my default nature and meet adventure in the middle rather than sitting dangerously close to either side. In the process of this, I also uncovered some much deeper things about this quality which I now believe is the reason it was always so attractive to me. With this, I would like to give you some general reasons to be more spontaneous.
1. Life is short. This reason is perhaps the most obvious one on the list. You can never say it enough times and no matter how many moments make you realize this fact, we still find it hard to grasp. While it isn’t a healthy fact to obsess over, I hope you use it as a soft reminder in your daily life. Remember that it applies to all of your decisions- don’t hold that grudge, don’t keep living in a rhythm that makes you miserable and steals your joy. Never hold back I love you or I’m sorry, make that random call to the friend you need to catch up with and go out of your way to do something kind for someone when the opportunity arises.
2. It helps you cultivate a more intentional awareness of your surroundings and stretches your mind to the infinite possibilities that exist all around you.
3. The unexpected moments in our lives warrant the most joy and make the most impactful memories. But for those of you who fall easily into gluttony, don’t take this too far. Focus on finding small ways to make the most normal moments of life feel new; instead of going out to dinner with your spouse all of the time, cook it together once in a while. Instead of going for a run every day, go for a swim one day. Instead of texting, give someone a call. Instead of ordering your standard drink at Starbucks, try a new one. Find ways to keep everyday moments unique and invite the people you love into it with you. Changes as simple as this can cultivate an atmosphere for magic.
4. It helps you to become more confident in your instincts and to sharpen them as well; trial and error is the best way to grow in a skill and spontaneity is no different. It will come more naturally and be executed more successfully the more you do it.
5. It not only forces you to listen to yourself better, but also to notice the people around you. It makes you a better hang and more able to enjoy the curves life will inevitably toss at you outside of your plans.
6. It forces you to evaluate things in real time; you will grow in your ability to judge the consequences of an action and the potential benefits of it more accurately before making a choice.
Now, to explore the deeper meaning from the above statements- A lot of times, it is easy to see spontaneity with a selfish lens. I challenge you to see it as something that can benefit not only you, but everyone you come into contact with. It is an encouragement to step outside of your comfort zone, to do something that you wouldn’t normally do. Buy Starbucks for the stranger in the drive through line behind you, invite your neighbor over for dinner when you run into them at the mailbox. Think of spontaneity as an invitation to do, to choose action instead of complacency or fear. Think of it as a reminder to never settle; not in your own life, in your goals, or in your service to the world. Spontaneity should be a quality that goes beyond our personality type, beyond our natural or unnatural inclination to it. We all have the ability to use it wisely or to diminish its gift. Will you choose to be more self-conscious in this way? I suggest you take a moment to either think on these questions below or copy/paste them into your notes folder and write your thoughts:
1. What is a way I could step out of my comfort zone that would benefit me?
2. What is a way I could step out of my comfort zone that would benefit others?
3. Am I frustrated by the idea of changing my plans in the spur of a moment?
4. Do I make room in my life to be spontaneous or is my schedule completely bogged down?
5. Am I naturally spontaneous or am I a planner? What could I do to get closer to the middle line?
6. Am I afraid to confidently walk towards the unknown? If so, why?
I would also like to remind you that while there is an element of impulsivity tied to this concept, it is very different from being reckless. I have never met one person who is fulfilled by following their desires alone; we have to exercise self-control as well. Remember that giving in to passion constantly will ruin its effect, taking more and more to feel the same high. Being spontaneous is not about chasing a good feeling or using others as a means to an end in that process, but about being open minded and aware of ourselves/our surroundings. You are missing the point if you think that constant changing of plans, selfish decisions, and choice making that you know will warrant poor consequences can fill you inside. So, I challenge you to be bold, confident, calculated, smart, brave, selfless, and self-aware. I challenge you to consider the greater good for both yourself and your immediate surroundings as you journey towards crafting this gift we all have access to.
I believe that we each have the ability to embrace this powerful quality and to value it in a much deeper way than we may have initially. I pray that you are encouraged to honor each moment of your life and the lives of those you love, I pray that you learn to find and cultivate joy in the most unexpected places. And I pray that you are kind to yourself while you journey into this because it is okay to miscalculate, to mess up, or to do the wrong thing. Keep your sights on pure intentions and don’t give up! Have a great week everyone!
Till next Sunday,
-Lexi Cummings
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